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Don't Stress
The Occidental Tourist · May 10, 2000

Oftentimes, readers write to the Tourist asking: Mr. Tourist, with the way you approach travel - the constant griping about late flights, crowded coach seats, hidden car rental fees and lousy hotel service - isn't there a lot of stress involved when you go out on the road?

Absolutely, the Tourist replies. Sometimes, he can't even see straight because of his stress level. (Or maybe he can't see straight because he was self-medicating with a shot glass at the hotel lounge.) Oh well. Either way, stress must have had something to do with it ...

Mr. Tourist, the readers say, we were actually referring to stress on the part of the ticket counter clerks, flight attendants, rental car counter workers and hotel staff who have to deal with a person like you.

Ahh, yes. Well. Hmm. Perhaps. But the Tourist has never asked 'em. Go figure.

That said, the Tourist is eagerly awaiting new innovations in travel resources that will provide stress-relief alternatives to liberal quanities of Wild Turkey. Just check out what researchers are brewing up at the Conrad N. Hilton College of Hotel and Restaurant Management at the University of Houston:

You arrive at the hotel bug-eyed. Natch, this is a given - by 2010, the feds are predicting that the current record 643 million people traveling by air each year will increase to one billion.

Frazzled by marathon delays and jammed flights, you'll head up to the room. But you don't have a key. And what's more: This is a good thing. Hotels don't use 'em anymore, so you don't lose 'em. You simply flash your fingerprint on an electronic hallway panel to gain access.

Walk inside and hit a button to get the sound of sea waves crashing and you immediately feel that familiar travel anxiety peel off your body. Click on the computer-generated, virtual room window to depict an ocean and blue skies. Tuck yourself into bed, but don't forget to program the room to play classical music when you wake up in the morning.

Yes, the readers say, this all sounds well and good. How do we book these rooms?

Well, that's the bad news. You can't. They don't exist. These intriguing concepts are pretty much in the laboratory hatching stages. The good news? There are already gizmos and resources out there that business travelers can take on the road to relieve the stress.

Just take Hilton for example: The hotel has launched its Traveler Lifestyle Center concept (get it? TLC?), with an emphasis on stress busting. Costing no more than a regular room, "Stress-Less'' rooms are expanding nationwide, and are now featured at Hilton locations in cities such as Washington, Atlanta, Chicago, New York, Houston and San Francisco. In addtion to specially provided aromatherapy lotions and provided stress-reduction advice to guests from the American Institute of Stress, here are other highlights:

• Massaging Seat Topper: A seat pad that massages the body and back and applies heat.
  
  
• Calming Pool: Actual in-room fountain provides the soothing sound of flowing water.
  
  
• 'Sound and Light Therapy' Alarm Clock: Choice of six relaxing nature sounds to softly wake up guests.
  
  
• The Pulse Magnetic Belt: Integrates magnetic massage treatment for guests.
  

The Occidental Tourist is a magazine writer in Washington, DC. He writes for Maxim, POV, Capital Style and ABCNews.com. His column appears on Tuesdays. E-mail him at tourist@ticked.com.