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Fat Fliers
The Occidental Tourist · November 17, 1999

Let’s face it: When it comes to staying fit, many of us look for excuses to be slugs. Toss a busy travel schedule into the mix, and you have the perfect excuse to sculpt that flabby, useless body to its fullest lack of potential.

Roadbound work assignments are a catchall rationalization for avoiding healthy living: After all, many lodging establishments don’t have fitness centers, right? Even if they do, how can you get to the hotel gym at night when you’re supposed to be schmoozing — and drinking — with clients?

Oh, and, by the way, have you seen what they put on restaurant menus these days? (‘Yes, I’ll have the duckling with the red-pepper cream-based reduction and Cabernet-soaked artichoke foie gras ...)

How eager are some travelers to avoid the not-so-heavy lifting? Well, there’s a service out now called Virtual Bellhop that spares you of the physically draining task of carrying your luggage: It picks it up at your office or home and makes sure it’s waiting for you in the hotel room. The tab ranges from $65 to $239 and beyond.

Now, you may be saying, But Tourist, since when did you ever care about staying in some reasonable approximation of fitfulness? Your idea of a three-step hotel workout routine goes like this, right?:

1. Push elevator button to “L.”

2. Walk to hotel lounge.

3. Lift 20-ounce beer mug to mouth repeatedly.

Well, dear reader, there may be a grain of truth to that. But the post-work lounge relaxation is usually conducted after getting in some active duty during the day. Not that the Tourist is ever looking to become the next Ah-nuld with pumped-up pecks and washboard abs. But sticking with a decent routine is never a bad idea if you plan to exist in this planet for a while.

For sure, getting in a workout and eating wise while away from home is an elusive discipline. When USA Today surveyed 1,136 frequent business travelers, the majority admitted that they weren’t having great success in their efforts to eat right and stay in shape. A myriad of reasons were cited: time, social pressures, loneliness and boredom.

“Most of us set ourselves up to fail by creating health routines that are as exciting as boot camp for the Marines,” says Barbara Close, founder/owner of Naturopathica, the East Hampton, N.Y., holistic destination spa. “We overdo everything. If it’s exercise, that means going to a health club for two hours.”

Which is difficult to accommodate with on-travel work demands in a new town.

And, admittedly, there is greater temptation to be naughty on the road. Travelers reason “who’s watching you now?” says Jyl Steinback, author of the Fat Free Living Cookbook series. “Nobody will ever know, so why not indulge? Calories while you’re entertaining business clients don’t count!”

Experts suggest a proactive approach: You don’t just head out on a business trip without booking flights/hotels and planning a business schedule, right? Making time for fitness doesn’t require lugging tons of exercise gear and stomaching a bunch of unappealing health foods.

Next week, the Tourist clues you in on the how-tos. And send him your tips at tourist@ticked.com, and include your name and city/town of residence.

The Occidental Tourist is a magazine writer in Washington, DC. He writes for Maxim, POV, Capital Style and ABCNews.com. His column appears on Tuesdays. E-mail him at tourist@ticked.com.