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Weird Museums
The Occidental Tourist · October 4, 2000

This is the time of the year when the Tourist is even more annoyed than normal. Why? Because, by now, he's endured an entire summer's worth of irritating tourists flocking to his town of Washington, D.C.

Not like it's difficult to spot them: They eagerly flip through maps on the Metro while grim federal workers unwind with Request for Proposal reports. They sport white T-shirts and flip-flops, instead of the classic, District hues of charcoal gray and, on those brighter days, dark gray.

All to go to some boring monuments and ho-hum museums. This is when the Tourist points them into another direction. Why spend an entire week looking at exhibits of Lincoln's beard trimmings, he says, when you can go to places elsewhere in this great nation that have these priceless items: an atomic cannon, Hitler's typewriter, human leg-bone trumpets, the machinery that produced America's first safety fuse, Lizzy Borden's hatchet, J. Edgar Hoover's bronzed baby shoes and the world's largest hairball.

Or, at least, these are off-beat artifacts that Roadside America has found at twisted museums across the country. This week and next, the Tourist will tap into the topic and dish the skinny on strange museums he's discovered. And send him your observations at tourist@ticked.com, and don't forget your city/town of residence:

What's the appeal? It's the raison d'etre for many, curious travelers. "Aside from the sheer fun of uncovering hidden gems, there's a sense of danger and exploration you won't experience at mainstream museums," says Roadside America's Doug Kirby. "These places are often unedited - no pre-packaged, politically correct 'interactive experiences.' If you're not careful, that wall of historical rakes may tumble down on to you and your family. Offbeat museum owners and guides often open fire hydrants of colorful stories with endless details. We like to videotape their rants for decoding and more careful study, once we're safely home."

So cancel those Washington plans, folks! The Tourist has rounded-up a cornucopia of the museums on the A-list among connoisseurs of curious oddities:

The Museum of Questionable Medical Devices in Minneapolis highlights health care breakthroughs that should only be tested on patients like John Tesh. Among other items, proprietor Bob McCoy has gathered a machine that claims to increase virility via electrical shock; a foot-powered breast enlarger; and soap that reduces your weight. (See? Physicians have come a long way since applying leeches.)

Talk about medical specialties: The Dittrick Museum of Medical History at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland has a special collection devoted to microscopes: Admire beloved standbys like the Culpeper and the R&J Beck. Celebrated pioneers like James Swift & Son, an innovative company well known for the all-brass instrument with a bent-claw foot. (Bet the Swifts' bragging got their colleagues pretty steamed, when microscope makers got together in those days. "How 'bout that bent-foot claw?" they'd say ...)

The Mutter Museum of Medical Oddities in Philadelphia is home to more than 20,000 objects, including approximately 900 fluid-preserved anatomical and pathological specimens; and 10,000 medical instruments. Among the most endearing items a recent visitor named Jamie liked: "An 8-foot long, 10-inch around colon, a big exhibit on conjoined twins and boxes full of things that people have swallowed. I was there earlier this year and had a ball." Hopefully, the ball didn't come from any anatomically preserved specimens. (At the Philadelphia College of Physicians on 19 South 22nd St.)

Next week: Liberace's pink Volkswagen, bad art and the Museum of Death.

The Occidental Tourist is a magazine writer in Washington, DC. He writes for Maxim, Capital Style and ABCNews.com. His column appears on Tuesdays. E-mail him at tourist@ticked.com.