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Relatively, Travel
The Occidental Tourist · April 26, 2000

As you are perhaps aware, there's another columnist on this site who carves a rep out of being cheap. (And if you have a difficult time figuring out which Ticked scribe this is, then the Tourist questions how exactly you get through life, y'know? Seriously, it must be people like you that prompted well-paid network executives to offer programming like Pink Lady and Jeff.)

That said, the Tourist sincerely believes he can give Cheap Charlie a run for his well-guarded money. Sure, Charlie battles rental car counter drones over jacked-up daily rates. The Tourist avoids the counter altogether, actually, via preferred status, and has his company pick up the tab.

Yes, Charlie can scout out good places for inexpensive grub. But is Charlie determined to eat exactly one-half of what's on his plate in a restaurant, so he can take the rest home and get two -- not one -- dinners out of his bill? Does Charlie's wife ask him how to turn off the alarm system when she reaches into his wallet to borrow a dollar? (The Tourist believes his Missus was joking when she said this.)

Now, thanks to handy trend research, the Tourist is eyeing another development that's to his frugal liking: The wealth of grandparents looking to vacation with grandchildren.

(Editor to Tourist: Where exactly are you going with this?)

Go away.

(Editor: No, really. What does grandparent travel have to do with saving money? Are you stalling? Spinning your wheels because you couldn't come up with decent inside skinny this week? Lemme guess. You woke up in a haze on deadline day -- again -- in a strange hotel room and you're now reading the back of the matchbox on the nightstand just to figure out what country you're in . . . .)

. . . ahh, the editor is so out of touch. What grandparent travel means to cheap travelers like the Tourist is free lodging, of course. Later this month, for example, the Tourist will take the Missus and the precious 17-month-old lad to the folks' pad near Orlando. Four nights of lodging right along a golf course fairway for absolutely nothing. Nada. Totally free. (Well, OK, the Tourist might have to cough up for a couple dinners and maybe offer to keep the fridge stocked with beer. Does that beat a $200-plus a night hotel bill? You bet.)

As mentioned, the Tourist isn't alone. Last year, an estimated 7.7 million vacation trips were taken that included grandparents and grandchildren, up from 3 million in 1994, according to the Travel Industry Association of America. Recent surveys indicate that almost 20 percent of all family vacations include members of three generations, according to travel publisher Fodor's and the American Society of Travel Agents.

How come? Consider the way we live these days. Families are scattered throughout the nation -- and the world -- with fast-track careers and a global economy, cutting back on opportunities for visits. Even grandparents who live nearby find that, with the overscheduled lives of their grandchildren, there's less opportunity to spend time together. (Not exactly easy to do when parents are obsessing on cramming soccer, fencing, and 1650-era Belgium lit lessons down their kids throats.)

Fortunately, increased air miles and disposable income are making it easier for grandparents to make plans to grab the kids and go.

Often, traveling with the grandfolks isn't such a fuddy-duddy waste of a time. Lisa-Joy Zgorski, now a staffer for a Washington-based think tank, recalls when she was 16, her grandparents took her to the Amish country near Hershey, Pa. Driving all over the countryside behind those slow-moving buggies and eating family-style sit-down meals was OK. But not for long.

Turns out the grandparents were bored stiff, Zgorski recalls. "I sensed their desire to go somewhere else, but knew they wouldn't rob me of this cultural experience. I heard them whispering alternative suggestions. When I suggested we go to Atlantic City, they jumped for joy and off we went!"

Sounds like the Tourist's idea of a good outing with the grandparents. Next week, he clues you in to what else is out there. Send 'im your observations at OTtravel@regiononline.com, and don't forget your full name and city or town of residence.

The Occidental Tourist is a magazine writer in Washington, DC. He writes for Maxim, POV, Capital Style and ABCNews.com. His column appears on Tuesdays. E-mail him at tourist@ticked.com.