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How to Complain
The Occidental Tourist · September 27, 2000

Last week, the Tourist dished the skinny on smart complaining.

It's not rocket science. Tone down the volume, lose the profane language and make a straightforward, solid case for compensation. Most times, a hotel manager or airline executive will be happy to hash out a decent token of apology. And send the Tourist your own experiences at tourist@ticked.com, and don't forget to include your full name and city/town of residence:

Be specific: Keeping pen and paper on hand is a good way to document the incident while it's still fresh in your mind. Curtis suggests taking note of the date, time, flight number, and seat number. The DOT suggests the following: Send copies, but never originals, of tickets, receipts and other documents that can back up your claim. Include names of offending employees, as well as those who were helpful. Document monetary losses. Let the airline know what you expect to get in return, but be reasonable. Asking for free, first-class tickets and a week-long, five-star hotel stay for a flight that was delayed 15 minutes will likely just earn you a polite apology and a place in the airline's crank files.

And don't delay. "Lodge your complaint as soon as you get back from your trip," says a marketing executive from Denver, who has dealt with lost luggage, overbooked hotels and other mishaps in her travels. "The longer you wait, the less you will remember or care, and the less of a priority you become for the company that is at fault.

Know your rights: The fabled air traveler's bill of rights contains information on truth in advertising, space for carry-on and timely information on flight problems.

Know your enemy: The Attorney General's office in Connecticut also provides a decent guide to travel scams that is useful for any traveler. For example, the office wisely cautions consumers about making advance payments without a written contract in hopes of getting a travel freebie from someone selling a time share.

Beware of "complaint services": There are at least a dozen Web sites that offer to write a letter to the company and consumer agencies to state your case and seek compensation. Costs range from about $30 plus 20 percent of financial recovery to an hourly fee that averages $400 per client. Consumers can do this for free, of course, either on sites run by consumer agencies or the airlines' home pages. The National Association of Consumer Agency Administrators, a non-profit organization representing 165 state, local and federal consumer protection offices, provides free form letters to download for various problems, and provides links to online corporate complaint pages.

And, of course, there are always sites for cyber-flaming air travelers. But they seem more suited for amusement. The Terrorism of Temperamental Travelers site features summaries on everything from lost airline baggage to a crew of drunken European passengers who had to be restained by a wrestling team. High Altitude Hijinks features a daily, airplane-based departure from civility. What's amusing about Hijinks is that it posts court and police documents as source material - even a 1969 FBI memo describing how Doors singer Jim Morrison was particularly obnoxious on a flight during which, among other naughty doings, he puffed from a cigar while the "No Smoking" sign was flashing.

The Occidental Tourist is a magazine writer in Washington, DC. He writes for Maxim, Capital Style and ABCNews.com. His column appears on Tuesdays. E-mail him at tourist@ticked.com.