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Complain Smart
The Occidental Tourist · September 20, 2000

From what the Tourist is reading on venting Web sites (other than this one), he concludes that taking an airplane these days must be akin to going to a WWF match: "Passengers fume as pilot feasts . . . . Airlines, FAA debate soaring flight delays . . . . Debonair passengers stranded . . . Britons mutiny as flight is rerouted . . . ."

But, fear not, the Tourist does not intend to pile on with a typical, two-part column in which he essentially spews and curses the travel industry. This week and next, he'll provide the skinny to help readers not only complain, but complain well.

The difference? Only the opportunity to get $50 back for a rotten hotel stay. Or a free upgrade to first class. Whiners and shouters tend to get dismissed. Those who pose a businesslike, legitimate complaint -- backed up with concrete documentation and/or summary -- will get something decent for their troubles.

The travel industry is taking complaints from consumers very seriously, tracking comments through databases that help them identify trouble areas. Northwest Airlines gets 1,750 weekly e-mail responses at its "Talk to us" Web site link, for example, and has recently trained its managers to provide more thoughtful and personalized e-mail responses within 48 hours.

Here's how to get a good response:

Complain smart: It may sound like your parents' advice, but it still rings true: Gettin' mad doesn't translate to gettin' even. Be businesslike and factual when stating a complaint. On the phone, be polite and even pleasant. When letter writing or e-mailing companies, drop those exclamation points, ALL CAP letters and anything else that looks like you're going postal in print. "People on the front line don't deserve abuse and will respond to politeness rather than threats," says Robert Christie Mill, professor of tourism at the University of Denver.

Often times, it's best to negotiate for compensation with a company representative who was not directly involved with the mishap. "If a flight attendant spills juice on your suit and you need to get it dry cleaned, don't demand dry cleaning money on the spot," says Todd Curtis, aviation expert and founder of Airsafe.com, a guide to smart air travel. "Wait until you land and contact one of the gate agents or customer service agents."

As a frequent traveler, the Tourist has had his own success by keeping cool: He earned a free ticket upgrade when treated in rude fashion by a customer service representative. (One hint: If you're getting nothing but attitude when dealing with the airline 800 line, hang up the phone, redial and then politely insist upon speaking with a manager on duty.) On that upgraded, business-class flight, I was given a free bottle of fine merlot when my first dinner choice wasn't available. Not that I stomped and screamed when I had to settle for chicken. I simply said with a smile, "Oh, that's too bad . . . . I was really looking forward to the steak . . . ." The bottle was presented without asking.

Next week, the Tourist provides more ways to cash in by complaining. And send him your tales of woe and redemption at tourist@ticked.com.

The Occidental Tourist is a magazine writer in Washington, DC. He writes for Maxim, Capital Style and ABCNews.com. His column appears on Tuesdays. E-mail him at tourist@ticked.com.