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Miami Vice
Kirby's Korner · November 19, 1999

November 5, 1999

Pat and Allan Herbert
Proprietors
Richmond Hotel
Miami Beach, Fla.

Dear Folks,

I just got back from a three-night stay in your hotel and have never been as disappointed in a property as I am in yours. Furthermore, I'm at a loss to understand how you are making money off your property.

I've written earlier about my adventures in reserving a hotel room online in South Beach. I was attracted to the Richmond Hotel for two reasons from its write-up on TravelWeb: the description of the hotel as an "Art Deco masterpiece" and the promise of a restaurant with "a fantastic menu of Old South favorites and great American recipes."

Imagine my surprise when I discovered neither of these descriptions is true.

"Art Deco" must be Spanish for "without drawers." I've never been in a hotel room before that didn't offer some type of dresser to put away underwear, books, and miscellaneous items. At your property, I had to use the only two drawers in the room, the thin ones in the desk.

But problems arose before I ever made it to the room. When I checked in, I discovered the lobby was being reconstructed. A demolition derby is not the most inviting way to greet guests -- particularly paying ones.

(Bob Diener, president of Hotel Reservation Network tells me he requires hotels that are bookable through his operation to specify on the Web site when they are being repaired and to offer a discounted "construction" rate. This is a practice more properties should follow.)

It took me 25 minutes to check in at the Richmond while standing in the demolished lobby, even though only one person was ahead of me in line. I don't blame your desk clerk for wanting to spend as much time as possible with the well-tanned, well-endowed blonde woman ahead of me, but I had better things to do than watch his efforts.

Once I got to my room and figured out how to stow my clothes, the room itself was not bad. The television choices could have been improved with at least one movie channel, but, luckily, I wasn't in the room enough that the three versions of CNN bothered me.

The ventilation system offered a choice of either full-blown air conditioning or no circulation at all, but that may be a Miami thing.

The location was ideal, only a short walk from the beginning of the "night spot" part of South Beach.

I was disappointed to discover upon checking in that you do not have a restaurant that serves dinner. So much for the "fantastic menu." When I made it to the restaurant on Thursday morning just before checking out, I realized the lack of a dinner menu may have been a blessing. There was no coffee in the cafeteria-style urn and no glasses for the from-concentrate orange juice you offered. Even though few people were in the restaurant, it took almost 15 minutes before anyone came by my table with a menu.

Once I ordered, the grits I received were literally inedible -- and this from someone who will eat nearly anything placed in front of him. A "rasher" of bacon turned out to be two overly-done pieces. The eggs, at least, were satisfactory.

My question about your money-making ability takes three forms. First, when I reserved the room through TravelWeb I opted for the corporate rate, just to see what would happen. That's what I was billed, and no one asked me what company I am with that garners a corporate rate from your hotel.

Second, the person in charge of the restaurant was quick to drop the charge for the eggs, bacon, and grits when, in response to his question, I told him what I thought of the grits. I offered to pay for the eggs and bacon, but he refused. This may be good customer service, but it cuts into the bottom line.

Most amazingly, I was not charged for the telephone calls I made during my stay, including at least two long-distance calls. The desk clerk at check-out told me the telephone billing system was down. Again, this is to my benefit, but the long-distance calls, in particular, are real charges that your hotel will have to pick up.

Of course, if I had known about the telephone billing practice during my stay . . . .

In short, you have going for you the three most important criteria of any real estate operation: location, location, location. It's a shame nothing else in your hotel lives up to that promise.

Sincerely,

David Kirby is the editor of the Interactive Travel Report. His column appears on Friday. You can reach him at david@ticked.com.