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Why I Like Airlines
Err Travel · November 16, 1999

This may be my final column. Once my fellow Ticked-Off columnists read my confession, I may find myself escorted to the cyberdoor.

I am about to reveal something that, in today's travel-writing circles, is tantamount to spilling the beans about our travel-writers' secret handshake or how we are able to vacation on Mediterranean cruises and write the expenses off our taxes. In short, my revelation is travel column heresy.

Nevertheless . . . (deep breath) here goes.

I like the airlines.

There. I've said it. I like the reservation agents, the ticket counter agents, the gate agents, the flight attendants, the pilots, and even the airline managers I've met.

What's worse -- and here's my ultimate divulgence -- I even like the food.

(Note: If my column continues beyond this point, either our editor has fallen asleep or he can't believe what he is reading. So I'll press on.)

I look at it this way: How else can I get from my home near San Francisco to Chicago in around five hours for a few hundred bucks? I do have choices, but on analysis, they don't make much sense.

A seat on Amtrak would cost me about the same, but takes two and half days. Greyhound costs a lot less (around $100) but still takes a couple of days.

I could drive. According to Mapquest, I figure it's roughly 2,200 miles on I-80. With one stop in Salt Lake City and another in Grand Island, Neb., I could probably make it to Chicago in three days. At 32½ ¢ per mile that the IRS allows, auto expenses would cost in the neighborhood of $700.

Then there's the issue of food. On an airplane ride, it's included in the price of the ticket and someone even delivers it to me. I can even request a special meal -- pretty neat, if you ask me.

If I were to ride a train, I'd have to pack along my own food or eat on my own buck in the dining car. If I were to go Greyhound, I'd also have to bring along my own food or rely on bus terminal dining -- "terminal dining" being the operative expression here.

If I drove, I'd be gobbling Grand Slam Breakfasts at Denny's, scarfing Super Subs and Slurpees at 7-Eleven, and wolfing Wildfire Rib dinners at Bob Evans.

And another thing: If took my own car, I'd have to spring for a couple of nights at HoJo's.

Finally -- and not a trifling issue for this self-proclaimed travel safety expert -- there is the matter of getting creamed in an accident while in transit. According to statistics available from the U.S. Department of Transportation, I'm most at risk traveling by car, least at risk traveling by air.

Considering these options, here's my thumbnail analysis of traveling round-trip from San Francisco to Chicago:

For the time, money, and risk involved, how can I beat flying? It's faster, it's safer, and somebody will even bring me some food.

There it is. I like the airlines. (Know what? I feel a lot better now. The past 600 words have been quite cathartic. Hey, maybe I've discovered a whole new psychological treatment -- travel-writing therapy. Now if I can figure out how to practice this new technique while sailing in the Med….)

Dr. Terry Riley is a psychologist and travel security authority. His column appears on Wednesdays. He is author of the popular book Travel Can Be Murder. Visit his site at http://www.appliedpsychology.com or e-mail him at riley@appliedpsychology.com.