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Stop! Underwear Thief!
ChrisCrossings · September 28, 2000

Q: I checked into the Royal National Hotel as part of the Arts Boston tour group on Aug. 2. The following day, I asked to change rooms because of the street noise. Later that day I realized my nightshirt was missing. The hotel gave me the key to my old room, but it was already made up and I found no nightshirt.

The hotel suggested that the nightshirt may have gone out with the laundry and advised me to fill out a claim form if it had not turned up before I left; I filled out the claim on Aug.7, the day before my departure.

After I returned from my trip and unpacked, I discovered that a T-shirt and many items of underwear were missing. I had these in my possession at least until Aug. 7th but not on the 8th when I packed for home. At that point I knew I had been hit on two different occasions.

I e-mailed the hotel on Aug. 9 explaining the problem and asking them to acknowledge my e-mail. I have heard nothing. My tour organizer has tried to intercede for me but with no luck.

I did not misplace these clothes. These items were stolen and it was an inside job: a Donna Karan nightshirt, five pair of Victoria's Secret underpants, two Victoria's Secret bras, and a T-shirt from the Montreal Jazz Festival. The notion that someone was going through my personal clothing is more disturbing than the monetary loss. I think this is a terrible insult not even to get an apology or some indication that the hotel takes guest security seriously.

I am open to any suggestions you may have for resolving this issue.

-- Cynthia Toomer

A: What's disturbing about your letter isn't that your room was burglarized or that the hotel has been slow to react, but that somehow, an underwear-stealing pervert managed to access your room not once, but twice.

Hotel rooms are not known for their safety, although I'm hard pressed to prove how unsafe they are. If breaking and entering occurs in a hotel, the U.S. Department of Justice still classifies it as a burglary for the household whose members were staying there at the time the entry occurred.

Meaning that such numbers are difficult to come by.

I wouldn't be upset at the Royal National Hotel for its sluggish response. August is, after all, the height of tourist season, and underwear theft probably ranks somewhere between room service complaints and phone bill grievances.

There's some good news. The hotel you stayed at is part of a chain of family-owned properties called Imperial Hotels London. I would expect someone to respond to your e-mails eventually - although I'd recommend putting your note on paper and mailing it to the hotel. For reasons I can't quite understand, snail-mail carries more weight. Even a fax is better than e-mail.

The real issue, as I mentioned, is the pervert. I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I'm convinced this was an "inside" job.

You suspected the housekeeping staff. That's the likeliest explanation - they had access to your room - but it's not the only one.

I think you should take another look at your tour group. Was anyone else able to get close to your luggage? Could several member of your group have stolen your underwear as a prank?

I'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of this theft. If someone swiped my underwear, I'd be ticked off too. And I'd wonder what they were going to come after next. Fortunately you made it home without incident.

As far as the hotel, I'd settle for an apology and a modest check to cover the expense of new underwear. I have a feeling you'll get it.

Christopher Elliott's column appears on Thursdays. All e-mailed questions to ChrisCrossings become property of Ticked.com and may be edited, condensed or republished at the site's discretion. You may reach Elliott at chris@ticked.com. Or visit his home page at http://www.elliott.org.