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Hotel Hell
ChrisCrossings · June 15, 2000

Note: Last week's column about B&B Burnout prompted several responses from guests and insiders about the state of the lodging industry. So this week, we return to the topic of hotel "fatigue" and what guests can do about it. We begin with a note from an old favorite of Ticked.com, the infamous Joe Luehrmann:

Q: I did the night audit at a Courtyard by Marriott from 1989 to 1991 while I was in graduate school. When I was with Marriott, I was making a whopping $5 an hour. Most of the guests were great people who treated me with respect and were easy to satisfy.

The other five percent were customers from hell.

One guy would come in every Monday evening and cuss me out in all sorts of languages because I did not have a room for him. He always had a confirmation number that was dissimilar from our reservation numbers (8 digits). We had 100 percent occupancies on Monday nights. We usually helped him out. I hate to admit that on my last night, I stepped away and called the local police department and they encouraged him to move on.

Then there were the parents who would rent 20 to 25 rooms for their kids' prom night. Of course, the party caused so much noise that all the guests were complaining. One night, we confiscated 60 bottles of liquor and 10 cases of beer - from high school students. Then the parents would come in and cuss us out for spoiling their child's prom night.

Ditto for soccer and rugby groups.

Then there was the couple that always requested a suite. When they arrived, they demanded a suite and an extra room free. One visit, they made no less than 40 calls to the front desk in one hour.

Then there was the lady who demanded room service. I offered to move her to the local full-service Marriott property. However, she did not want to "pay those rates."

I enjoyed the work as it required about two hours of work a night and allowed me to study. But if I had to do that as a career ...

--Joe Luehrmann

A: Thanks for your insights, Joe. I've also witnessed some of the most outrageous guest behavior. The loud and unruly ones are one matter, but it's often the quiet ones who leave a lasting mark.

I mentioned customers who deface rooms in the last column. But perhaps the single worst thing a hotel guest can do, as far as I'm concerned, is to light up in a nonsmoking room. In my experience once someone smokes in a hotel, the odor becomes a permanent part of the room.

That kind of behavior isn't just irritating to me - both figuratively and literally - but it must also drive an innkeeper nuts. With the stench of tobacco in the curtains, sheets and rug, the room is bound to be the source of countless complaints by future guests, who call the front desk indignantly to say, "I asked for a non-smoking room!"

Q: Thanks for an insightful article. My wife and I have visited a couple of B&Bs over the years, and thought someday we might like to try innkeeping. You give some great common sense solutions, and also pointed out that some people are absolutely rude and obnoxious.

First, I think every B&B should have posted rules listed somewhere in the house so the guests can read them. If they have a site on-line, post them there as well.

Second, when you greet the guests, again point out the rules and regulations as a reminder. If there are other guests in the B&B, they appreciate everyone acting in a civil manner and abiding by the same rules.

There are always some who think they have rights over everyone else in the establishment and need to be reminded of the rules.

I agree that compliments go a long way to making things a little easier. The last place we visited was in Central Ohio and we had a marvelous dinner one night. We complimented the lady of the house (since she also prepared the meal) on such a delicious dinner and the fine surroundings that really made the atmosphere superb. The house was located in the country outside a small town, so the rural environment was especially nice. They had done some repairs to the home over the years, but they kept as much original as they could.

My wife and I walked around the grounds, and then complimented the husband on a great job of landscaping. That warmed him up and we talked for about two hours. My wife, in the meantime, had gone back to the house, where the wife engaged her in conversation because we had been complimentary about the place and the service.

When we left, we were told that we were among the nicest of guests. We really had some great memories because we learned some history about the farm, heard about their boys who grew up there after moving from a big city, and what wonderful memories they had and were still building. To me, this was a win-win situation - we had a great time, met some really nice people, and I felt they enjoyed our company, and probably hoped to have other guests like us in the future.

There are some people, who feel because they pay a rent, that they are entitled to do whatever they want, not realizing that they are guests in someone's home. So I can understand the burnout.

-- Leon Barbee

A: Without a doubt, many guests think they can get away with acting like animals because no one tells them otherwise. I agree that informing visitors of an innkeeper's expectations are important - no, imperative - to staying sane in the hotel business.

The challenge is to communicate the rules, such as they are, without making a visitor feel as if they've checked into prison. Then again, as Luehrmann points out, there are some guests who will never get it, and oftentimes, the best call to make is to the police.

Christopher Elliott's column appears on Thursdays. All e-mailed questions to ChrisCrossings become property of Ticked.com and may be edited, condensed or republished at the site's discretion. You may reach Elliott at chris@ticked.com. Or visit his home page at http://www.elliott.org.