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Wireless Lies
Cheap Charlie · November 13, 2000

I just came across an article that really irked me.

The headline for this article (probably written by some local editor) read "Wireless access takes wing." But it was the sub-head that caught my attention: "Airlines hoping to calm travelers with Net hookups."

I could not believe it. The last time I think this solution to a problem played was when Nero fiddled while Rome burned. I think the local Roman papers noted, "Nero hopes music soothes inferno victims."

The article started out alarmingly, "Hoping to soothe delayed passengers, several airlines want to install wireless Internet access in airport terminals, that will allow travelers to work, surf the Web, or even watch digital movies to pass the time."

The story went on to detail plans supposedly underway at Delta and United to introduce Internet services for passengers who are facing delays. According to the report, "Only 70 percent of flights are making their schedules, the US Department of Transportation says." The article points out, "United airlines came in last among the 10 large carriers in August, with just 42.7 percent on-time arrivals."

Please tell me this isn't true. I'm sure some cub reporter got the gist of the story absolutely wrong.

From what I know, the airlines are working like mad to get their flights to arrive and depart on time. Heck, they have added more time to their schedules to take into consideration taxi time and air-traffic delay time. Even that hasn't worked.

Of course dozens of airlines schedule scores of flights to leave within the same five minute window of time at major airports. They do this with a straight face. They tell us this is what the passengers want.

Hello. What the passengers want is truthfulness, not gadgets. If we could believe the airline schedules, it would make our lives much better and our travels much easier. Rather than claiming that such-and-such airline has the earliest departure for such-and-such destination, airlines should work to claim they have schedules that passengers can count on and they provide baggage handling that puts luggage in the right airport at the right time.

One of the constants with Southwest Airlines that keeps passenger hackles in check is communication with the customers. Every time I fly Southwest I know that I will probably leave on time and if the flight is being delayed, I have normally received truthful information about why the flight is delayed and when they truthfully expect it to depart.

When dealing with virtually every other airline, I consider the information I receive from the departure gate or the check-in counter suspect. I know it is not the fault of the personnel. They aren't told the truth, therefore they can't pass it on to us. They are faced with best-guessing what's happening. They simply pass along their guesses. It's a crap shoot whether the informati on is on the mark or unrealistic.

Before you major airlines begin putting in Internet access and digital gadgets to placate us while you lie to us about airport delays, please try the first step of letting your gate and check-in personnel know the whole truth so that they can pass it on to us.

If you big airlines will talk to us, we will understand or at least be able to make coherent plans. Once we can count on what you say about delays, we may have the peace of mind to focus on working on the Internet or download a DVD or two while we wait.

Wasn't there a movie with the slogan, "If you tell them, they will wait"?

Or something like that.

Charlie Leocha is the Boston-based author of Travel Rights: Know the Rules of the Road and the Air Before You Go. Cheap Charlie appears every Monday on this site. E-mail him at leocha@aol.com or access his Web site.